Rewire Your Brain for Success: Powerful Positive Affirmation Techniques

Photo by Stephanie W

We’re talking about positive affirmations—it's all about rewiring your brain, taking it from the negative to the positive. And yeah, that's easier said than done. It's like, "Okay, cool, right? That’s how you do it. Great, I can go home now, that’s all folks." I know it’s not going to be like that. It’s a habit that takes time. It really takes time to build, and it's also a habit to notice your thoughts first. 

I talk about this in my Skillshare course: awareness and change. Then, once you notice, you take action to rewire those thoughts. It’s simple once you’re in the habit, but it’s hard because noticing the habit itself is the challenge.

First, I've got this negative thought, and you guys wouldn’t believe how much you do that—how easy it is to spiral into negative thoughts and how easy it is not to notice them. I remember before I was recording the course, I spoke about this. I felt like I had everything set up on my desk, and then I spilled some tea because there was just no room on my desk (Obviously, being British) it was peppermint tea! I nudged something, and the tea went all over my laptop, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, no!" I immediately called myself a "pleb." That’s probably a British curse word or something naughty to call someone. I would say, "You pleb!" But why did I blame myself? It wasn’t me—it was all the equipment in the way.

That’s it, like denying responsibility or accountability, blaming it on something else. But literally, it was just that there was so much stuff on my desk, and my darling tea! I think I actually had a teapot. Hilarious! I had a teapot because some tea bags have that string attached, and when I pulled it off, it ripped, so I thought, "Obviously, I need a teapot." That’s probably why it spilled, but I blamed myself. Why did I do that? This is just an example for you guys—it wasn’t my fault, so why did I treat myself that way?

The thing is, I noticed. I noticed I called myself a "pleb." I became aware of it, and that’s where it takes time—to build the habit of noticing your thoughts. I’m no expert, obviously, but everyone’s different, and it might not be something you’re aware of at all. Building that awareness, first of all, is key to change. If you don’t notice something, how can you change it? If you’re in denial, obviously it’s not going to change. So take time for yourself.

I think the first place to start is doing the change now. If you notice that you’re feeling "not good enough," it’s probably because you’re telling yourself that you aren’t good enough. Once you notice that, you can change it, little by little.

Becoming aware of your thoughts, it’s easier said than done. We often don’t notice it, but building that awareness is a habit you need to form. It takes practice to realise you’re calling yourself this or that. We get caught up in our thoughts. We have this awesome brain, yet we use it to be negative—and why?

I always think it has to do with survival instincts. Anxiety is a survival mechanism, from what I’ve read. Our evolution—being hunters and savages—required us to be alert. Now, we don’t have to hunt woolly mammoths (not that cavemen were around at the same time as them, I think that’s a myth). But because we don’t hunt anymore, all we have to do is go to the supermarket to buy a chicken. I’m a vegetarian, so I don’t do that, but you get the point.

We’ve evolved past those survival situations, but we still have residual anxiety. It’s part of why we get caught up in looking for what’s wrong. I’ve also read that this is why news is often negative—it plays into that survival mechanism. That’s why dramas are so dramatic. We get obsessed with the negative because our brain is wired that way.

I’ve personally evolved past that—like, I hate the news. I only read local news because it’s more positive. It’s about what’s going on in my area, and it’s never negative. There’s always something like, "Oh, this little five-year-old won a football trophy." It’s positive and nice. I don’t read the big news, which might be bad because I could wake up one day, and it’ll be like a scene from Shaun of the Dead, where I don’t even know that zombies are around because I don’t read the news!

Also, there’s this Buddhist proverb I love: "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." I’ve added "think no evil" to that because you can think evil—about others and about yourself. It’s important to avoid that. You know, one day there could be a global catastrophe, and I wouldn’t even know because I’ve chosen to ignore the negativity. That might be silly, but I’d rather live positively.

I also really dislike it when people say, "Oh, you’re living in a dream world." We all see the world differently—nobody sees it the same way, so I think it's wrong to crush someone else’s perspective. Even family members have said this to me, but it’s fine because they don’t understand my point of view, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t let others tell you how to think.

When it comes to depression, I get it. It’s like Dementors sucking the life out of you. I’m not depressed anymore, and I don’t know exactly how I got out of it, but morning runs have helped. I started running for 10 minutes at 6 a.m., and even though no one is around, it’s a habit I’m building.

It’s about starting small with these habits, whether it’s running or rewiring your thoughts. It takes time.

I used to be an overachiever, always aiming too high, but sometimes that leads to burnout. I realised that to achieve what you want, you need to start with a good foundation—good diet, exercise, the basics. You have to build that energy before taking on bigger things. Like I said, I started small, running a little block at 6 a.m., and that’s totally fine because it’s a habit I’m building.

Everyone starts somewhere. Even famous actors in Hollywood were waiters or waitresses at one point. Everyone’s been a rookie, and that’s okay. Habits take time to build. If you want a habit tracker. You can also make one yourself. It’s so easy—just write it down, track your progress for the week, and tick off what you’ve done. There are apps for this, but it’s easy to do on your own as well.

If you want to rewire your thoughts, journaling is a great way to go. I’m a huge advocate for journaling. There’s this book, Overcoming Low Self-Esteem, by Melanie Fennell—love it! It has a fantastic section on questioning self-critical thoughts, and I think it’s essential. You can look at my Skillshare course for more explanation, but just to give you a quick breakdown now, get a small notebook and start with these six columns: date and time, situation, emotions, body sensations, and thoughts. Write down how you feel, rate it if you want, and start tracking your thoughts. It helps to become aware of what’s going on in your mind.

Then, you can worry about self-critical thoughts in the next column and then you can rate your belief in them from 0 to 100%, because sometimes, you know, they might not be true—like what you're thinking vs. what is actual reality, our thoughts could be feelings or intuition, and other times, our ego speaks to us.

Once you've written down your self-critical thoughts, you can also write down, in the next column, alternative perspectives. You can do this, like I explain in my Skillshare course, so please look that up. Once you’ve written down the alternative perspectives, there are so many you can have from the situation and how you’re feeling in your thoughts.

Every Skillshare course, I don’t give too much away, but after finding your alternatives to your self-critical thoughts, that’s something to think about. Write down these things; get your journal, and just write down these questions. (Overcoming Critical Thoughts Worksheet).

It really is a practice, though, rewiring some thoughts, like using them as positive affirmations. Use presentation cards. On one side write down the lie and the truth on the other.

For example, the lie could be, “I think I’m too weird and odd for friends.” That’s the lie. Then, write down the truth: “I bring something wonderful to each friend group because of my unique sense of self.” I don’t know, make it up! Get creative! If you say you’re not creative, that’s the lie! On the other side, write, “I have opportunities to learn new creative skills and master them.” I don’t know, it’s really up to you what you want to do, but it’s a habit. And if you write a worry card, put it in your pocket. Once you’ve told yourself the truth, or post it on your mirror, brush your teeth and look at it, and say, “That’s the truth,” and rewire your brain to think differently.

Review what you’ve written and ask yourself, “Is that the truth, or is that my ego speaking?” Write down the truth. Find the truth, guys—it’s all about the truth. Like the movie, even Harry Potter, they say, “As the muggle say "The truth will out."” The truth is always there and is probably the best option, even if you get in trouble for it. Being honest about it puts you where you’re supposed to go. It’s like a rapid river, boring at times, but it’s pushing you in the right direction. I know the right direction I’m supposed to take. But the thing is, I wasn’t telling the truth.

My ego was saying all these things, and I thought, “Oh, I should be doing something else.” Now that I’ve set it up, it’s like strong, stuck in my heart. It's struck me. There’s so much to unpack, but that could be in the next podcast episode about trying to align with your purpose. If you guys want that, comment! Aligning with your purpose is a whole other thing.

If you’re thinking negatively, and you’re not in the right environment, like mentally or even physically, if you have anxiety and don’t feel 100%, you’re obviously in the wrong place.

It’s up to you to change it. You don’t have to take dramatic steps. This also applies to your thoughts. The key is to be honest. I wrote it down on my trusty whiteboard: The truth and what I actually wanted to do with my life. It’s amazing! I totally reconnected with my childhood self. I wrote on the whiteboard: Who do I want to be? It’s not like I’m having a midlife crisis—I’ve been there, done that. I felt like I was at a point where I knew what I wanted to do, yet I felt like I was on my knees are screaming in the rain, like “Why, God, why?” because I wasn't telling the truth.

Don’t waste your time or energy. Tell the truth, be who you want to be, and the right situations will present themselves to you. If you feel like there’s a “coconut tree” in your way, it’s not the right direction. I’ve witnessed a lot of “no's” because the right thing is just around the corner, for me it's just having the courage to get there.

Do the truth and lie exercise, and commit yourself to rewiring your thoughts for as long as it takes. If they make you feel bad, they are useless to you. You need to be your best self, reach your full potential, and not let thoughts limit you. You can be the best version of yourself if you want to. It’s all up to you.